being a mom is a tough job. in fact, much harder than i previously thought. i don't think it matters that i am home full time either. i think working moms have it pretty tough also. as a mom, i think about whether or not i am doing a good job. did i play with molly enough, make enough silly faces, give her enough stimulation? did i read with isabelle enough, play outside enough, teach her enough new things? after all, i don't want to cause permanent damage to my kids. i don't want to screw them up to the point where one day they will look back and blame me or jason for how they turned out as adults? rather i would like them to thank us for how they turned out! and sadly, i don't think you can truly judge your parenting until your kids are grown. yes, there are milestones along the way that you can get some idea of whether or not you totally suck, but really the goal of parenting is to produce a good adult, right? and contributing to my paranoia is the fact that i am surrounded by moms that seem to have it all going on. these moms that seem to have it all going on, make me aspire to become a better mom. so here are my aspirations, my goals in motherhood. needless to say, the list could go on and on forever, so i will limit myself to only a few things today!
1. i aspire to be the mom that cooks breakfast every morning. not fixes a bowl of cereal, not instant oatmeal, or toast, but breakfast. eggs, bacon (turkey bacon of course), pancakes, french toast, something hot, something filling, something that will leave an impression. notice i don't say i want to make a good lunch everyday or even dinner every night (jason can help with that!). just breakfast. something about that first meal of the day. breakfast just seems more important somehow.
2. i aspire to be the mom who is totally fit and healthy. the mom who works out everyday and still has time to accomplish all the other things that moms must do. i don't want to be the mom who works out everyday, but her house is a mess, or her kids spend hours in the gym daycare, or she doesn't get dinner on the table until 8. i want to be the mom who isn't overweight, works out and eats healthy. the eating healthy part will only take a few changes so i shouldn't have too much trouble with that...it is the daily workout time i seem to be struggling with.
3. i would like to be an early riser. i have wanted to be an early bird for years now, i just can't seem to do it. i want to get up early, read my bible, maybe get in that workout i mentioned above, shower and get breakfast ready! i want to have my day planned out before it starts and get things accomplished before the girls wake up. as it stands now, i am more of a night owl. isabelle and molly are early risers. you can see the problem.
4. i want to be good at something. not mediocre, but good, really good at something. scrapbooking, maybe knitting or learning to sew, cooking, baking, photography, SOMETHING. and not something dorky, like organization or money management or time management, something fun, something creative, something my girls will appreciate and want to learn from me.
lastly (for now)...
5. i aspire to be the mom who has it all together. the mom who manages to get it all done, and gets it done well. the mom whose house is always clean, whose kids are always dressed like they are on their way to a photo shoot, whose job is always going well and whose family is always making ends meet. the mom whose kids are well behaved in public, the mom who always has extra time for herself to relax or spend time with the hubby. i want to be that mom, you know, the perfect mom who always looks good, has stylish clothes and hair, smells good, has rockin' makeup and whose kids and husband think she is a goddess. that mom. i am sure you all know her. i know about 10.
so there it is...my list of aspirations for motherhood. something tells me it is a little unrealistic. but again, there are those moms i know that seem to pull it all off. so it must be possible, right?