First, let me apologize for not posting yesterday. We are having some computer issues and yesterday when I wanted to blog the only thing my computer would do is say, "operating system not found," which I am pretty sure is not awesome. However, today it is working like a gem, so I am going to blog my little heart out!
Yesterday I was reading one of my favorite blogs and I was blown away at how honest and refreshing it was. It is pretty unusual to find someone in the blog world who just says, "hey, my life isn't perfect." But, she did and it was great. Don't get me wrong, I love to read about women who manage to look great, cook great, take great photos, have wonderfully great children and wonderfully great marriages and never have a single problem, I just don't believe that it is the entire story of their life. It is the life they want to show the internet, and I don't blame them or think it is wrong to record only positive, cheery, happy things. What is nice is when that person you look up to or admire admits that they also struggle and have been able to overcome whatever it might be and hey, "you can too!" Knowing that someone else has made it through what I go through gives me hope and my desire is that maybe someday someone will benefit from knowing that I had challenges and I still managed to live an overall happy life!
So in the spirit of keepin' it real I thought I would let y'all in on a few of my dirty little secrets lest anyone think I have it all going on!
Most days I am worried about money. Besides the fact that I know better than to worry (since God always comes through for me in this area and the Bible specifically tells me NOT to worry), I also know it is totally unproductive. Worrying about the bills/cars/groceries/clothing/diapers doesn't get me any closer to paying for it all, so why worry in the first place? This is an area I am working on!
I battle low self confidence regularly. WHOA. That took a lot to get out. One might think that reading blogs of other women who appear to be rockin' it in every area would be counterproductive to boosting the self esteem, but I find the opposite. Reading about women my age who stay at home who have the same things going on and manage to be all cheery and positive and full of confidence actually helps. The Pioneer Woman has seriously inspired me to cook more often and try things I might not have before. And every time I try something new and am able to do it, I feel pretty good about myself.
My marriage/children/home life/walk with the Lord/fill in the blank is not perfect. I am pretty sure this is obvious to anyone who reads my blog, but maybe not. In our house, we are always working on things. You cannot just end up with a great life without working at it day in and day out.
Some days I wish I was a working mom and not a stay at home mom. I love my girls and I am so blessed to be able to stay home, but there are days where I question that decision. I miss working. I miss how easy it is compared to what I am doing now. I miss adult conversation during the day. I miss being appreciated and making important decisions and feeling like what I am doing matters. I miss working with families and getting to know lots of interesting people. Mostly I miss the feeling that comes from completing a project and knowing you have done a good job. Okay, so I miss the paycheck also!
I am going to stop there. Hopefully my point came across. We all have things we are working to try and change. There is no use in trying to compare yourself to others. God made you to be you and has a plan for your life that is unique from everyone else's. When you think that you are the only one who has ever wished that you could lock your kids or yourself in your room in order to get a few minutes of peace and quiet, you aren't. When you think your marriage is having problems that no one else has ever had, it isn't. Everyone has something. So don't feel alone, we all have issues and we all have drama and we are all working on something. The Bible makes it pretty clear that as long as we are on this earth we are going to be working on something. Instead of hiding from it, start telling the truth, you might be amazed at who you find that knows exactly what you are talking about.