No one has ever described me as nice. Not that I am mean, but nice just isn't usually the first word that pops up when someone describes me. Maybe outspoken, or opinionated, or blunt. Perhaps honest, or organized, or clean freak, but generally not nice. Not kind or compassionate or tender. I don't even describe myself that way. I am more realistic, more to the point. Think Dr. Phil. I call it like I see it. I am not one to sugar coat things. Are you getting the picture? So while I am not a mean person, I am not really an overly nice one either. And that has started to bug me. I think nice thoughts. I feel kindness towards people, but I don't really say it that often. Take for example my best friend, Rochelle. I think she is pretty amazing. She is a wonderful friend, a great mother to her son, and a pretty rockin' wife to her husband. I have thought that for a long time, but it wasn't until today that it occurred to me to tell her. (which obviously led me to writing this post) Why have I never mentioned that to her? Probably because being nice isn't a priority in my life. Sad, isn't it.
So my Friday five today is a list of things I am going to do to try and be more "on purpose" about being nice. And here's the thing...I am generally very nice to strangers, just not to people I know.....so all of these are for my immediate friends and family!
1. Make a better effort to communicate with family members. Picking up the phone to say hello and I love you is probably better than sending a text or email, so I will start with that. If you are related to me and haven't gotten a call lately...watch out.
2. Remember to send birthday cards. I used to be such a pro at this. I was never late, always remembered and even got cards out to Jason's side of the family. With children and a digital calendar, I have fallen off the wagon. I don't think I have sent a birthday card this entire year. Pathetic.
3. Be more intentional to tell my girlfriends how wonderful they are. I don't have a lot of girlfriends, so letting the ones I do have know how blessed I am to have them in my life should probably be more of a priority.
4. Watch what I say. This might be the hardest. As I mentioned I tend to call it like I see it. Not always a plus. So I am and have been, working to keep my mouth shut a little more!
5. Be more thoughtful and helpful. Having a baby, lose a family member, kids driving you crazy? I might just bring you dinner, or babysit your kids, or send you a present. My good friend Stephanie is the queen of thoughtfulness. This year alone she has sent me three magazine subscriptions at random all on things I am really interested in. Why? Because Stephanie is nice and thoughtful. She thinks of others, and she is helpful. As you can probably guess, Stephanie has about a bazillion friends.
So while my gift-ed-ness may be more in the area of administration/organization, I am aiming to be more nice. I'll let you know how it goes!
What area do you excel in? What area do you wish you were better in? I would love to know I am not alone!!!
It takes a big person to admit the things they fall short on - and an even bigger person to put it out there for everyone to know. You are an amazing person, Tracy, and I am so proud to be your husband. Your continued efforts to grow as a person are inspiring to me. I love you.
ReplyDeleteOh my - I am so with you on forgetting bithdays. I used to be so on top of them, and now? Nope. Not at all. Totally forgot that we havea party to go to this weekend - so will be running to pick up a gift. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteWow, you are making this pregnant lady cry, you are so sweet! Then I read Jason's comment to you and start crying again! You two are so wonderful!
ReplyDeleteLet me tell you, I am surrounded by "Minnesota" nice and it doesn't always mean much! You are caring and thoughtful and I appreciate your honesty, I like knowing where you stand on things.
You are a great friend, in fact, you made a comment a while back about trying to be a better friend and it made me try to be a better friend as well. This is something I hadn't thought much about, especially since I became a mom and I was glad you inspired me to be more thoughtful with my friendships.
Also, I think you should give yourself a break, as a mom of two with a third on the way, as well as all your extra curricular goings on, if you miss a bday card here and there, I am sure those that are special to you will forgive :)
You are a good friend, but I admire your your thoughtfulness and desire to always be better!!
P.s. If I've written a few run-on sentences above, I apologize, my phone won't let me go back and edit.
The more I get to know you again through your blog, the more alike I find we are! Kindness does not come naturally to me. It takes a lot of effort! One thing I try to do is send one card a week. I buy a bunch when the mood strikes and send them to those who are on my mind. I used to be better at this, but it is still an attainable goal in my house! Thanks for your sweet honesty.
ReplyDeleteI have noticed your effort! It was so great to spend time with you guys last week. We really need to get together more often for low key nights. Also, jason's comment was so sweet! Love you guys!
ReplyDeleteHey! I've described you as nice. I think. No seriously. I'm sure I have because I find you VERY nice. Who brought me like 12 cupcakes (that I alone consumed) when I had my 2nd baby. (Even though I didn't come meet yours in the hospital?) YOU!
ReplyDeleteWho do I consider one of my best friends even though we are both so busy we literally only talk every so often but more in blog form than any other. YOU!
Who did I hang out with constantly when we worked together even though I'm sure I could have been doing "productive" things? YOU!
Who do I wish I could get together with in real life more and not just because our children are all literally stair stepped in age. YOU!
Tracy you are amazing. You are so freaking fun to be around and I miss you so much some days and others I don't think of you at all, but that's only because we are "new" momma's.
You make me laugh and you are so knowledgable I feel like every time we are together our conversations are pretty amazing.
We are quite opposite in some things, but the same in others.
I am sooo rambling right now.
"Hey, Tracy. You are one of the nicest people I know."
Did you know that?
Hmmm, maybe I need to work on it too.
Love ya lady
you have the best heart! these are all such great reminders!
ReplyDeleteomg ladies (and my husband)! what nice comments. and thanks for the card ideas! jess, one of these days we will make it work to get together more! e, you and i are alike! i think that all the time when i read your blog!!! and danielle, i am so excited you commented on my blog! i read yours all the time! thanks for the compliment! rochelle, you are a doll. i love you. i am lucky to have such great friends!
ReplyDelete